- Yup I gained all the weight back that I lost.
- Yup I have excuses.
- Yup I understand I’m in total control here.
- Yup I swore I’d never “start again” even when I said otherwise in cringe-worthy posts in this blog.
- Yup I’m tired of this crap.
- Yup I know where I “went wrong.”
- Yup I lost a lot of weight fast on a system I could not ultimately maintain (again, despite more cringe-worthy posts in this blog).
I figure what the heck? Back at it. Why not? What will be different this time around?
- I’m not going to pretend to teach/coach people (see cringe-worthy posts in this blog). This blog is for documenting my never-ending journey – good, bad and ugly.
- I will still consider, but hopefully won’t have to resort to, bariatric surgery.
- I will figure out my why and start there.
- I will use whatever tool works for me.
- I will give up the myth of maintenance. How many times did I say I know I can maintain if I could just get to my goal? Well, I’ve gained 35lbs since my lowest documented somewhere here in this blog. Clearly I can’t “maintain.”
- I will do my absolute best to conquer my f*ckits that spiral into sabotage.
I’m trying to figure out what about all the 40 gazillion attempts is still with me and helps me succeed. What can I do and stick to? I don’t know, but here’s a start.
- Stepping on the scale daily. I know, there are all kinds of reasons I shouldn’t. “It’s not about the number.” “It gets in your head.” Blah blah blah. Well, one thing I have learned is stepping on the scale every day is the one thing that keeps me accountable. That is until I stall out, like I always do, and no amount of changing things up will budge the scale. Yeah. Well. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Maybe not focusing on a goal or on “pounds lost” will make a stall seem less like failure. We shall see.
- Keeping the carbs in check. I have learned processed crap is killing me. I have acid reflux and feel like sh*t when I eat processed carbs. Yup, they’re highly palatable and I know I shouldn’t eat them. Will I never eat them again? Probably not. However, I’m not going to obsess about carbs and cut all “high carb vegetables.” I like carrots and will have the occasional potato.
- Not setting a goal. I’ve never really known what my “goal” weight should be. Sure I’ve had numbers in my head, but honestly, how low should I go? I don’t know. Because, as I said, I suck at maintenance. I’ll just get back on the journey and play it by ear.
Of course, I’ll also do the other stuff I have to do. Be aware of my mindset. Workout. Move more. Be mindful of what I eat. Do my best to make good choices. And so on and so on. We shall see. But I will try to write again. I like writing about my journey. My never-ending journey.